Title: Bigfoot Crank Stomp (2013)
Author: Erik Williams
Publisher: Deadite Press
We’ve all heard stories of stoners trying to get the household pet high by blowing smoke in it’s face, or through some other means dreamed up during a heavy smoking session. Despite three out of every three veterinarians advising against the practice, it is something that happens in living rooms across the nation on a regular basis.
What is not as common is keeping Bigfoot locked up in a basement and using him as the test subject for a methamphetamine production ring. That’s why I couldn’t resist buying Erik Williams’s Bigfoot Crank Stomp when I discovered that was the basic premise of of the book.
Being fed a steady diet of meth from a crew of hapless drug makers, has turned Bigfoot into a fiend of epic proportions. When the addiction starts calling to him, the giant hairy beast gets angry. And when Bigfoot gets angry, his brute strength is put on display for all the world to see and fear.
The meth-crazed creature gets loose during a scuffle between some local small-time criminals engage the meth makers, and goes apestick. It chases people through the woods, attacks police officers, wrecks porn sets, and occasionally rips the arms off of anybody he can get his hands on.
This book is like Poison, It Ain’t Nothin’ But a Good Time.
It’s also much better than that line.
It moves quickly, and bounces from one character’s experience to the next, tying it all together as the characters encounter each other with Bigfoot hot on their trail.
I not only enjoyed the hell out of it, it has me somewhat optimistic that the Finding Bigfoot crew on Animal Planet might one day find the very methed out Sasquatch from this story, and are systematically ripped apart by a beast impervious to bullets.
In other words, Bigfoot Crank Stomp has given me just a little bit of hope.
Check it out some time.
In the meantime, as always, why don’t you read a fuckin’ book or something.