Diora Baird

No.2: DIORA BAIRD – “Bailey” in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING

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Diora Baird is many things. Busty happens to be one of them. But let’s focus on some other stuff first. Indulge me, won’t you? Diora Baird’s Bailey is yet another token “along for the ride” gal in the sixth installment of the “should of been dead long ago” franchise. But let’s be honest with ourselves. We’re glad this franchise continues to find it’s way to multiplexes. Something I don’t know I’ve covered yet, but these films are a LOT of fun for an audience, preferably a packed house on opening night. When I was doing thorough “research” (Google Images) I noticed if you type Texas Chainsaw Massecre + Boobs into google and hit search you’re sure to see many photos of Ms. Baird (though mostly not from this movie) come flyin’ at your screen. A little hint for you weekend warriors out there. Actually…click here to see one of Diora’s most mammerable moments in the film.

So anyway, Bailey finds herself in a series of wrong place, wrong time situations in the film. TCM: The Beginning was my first exposure to the awesomeness of Diora Baird, and it shouldn’t go without saying that I became a fan. When she popped up in one of my all-time favorite episodes of “Psych” (Season 6 Episode 8 – The Tao of Gus, for the uninitiated) her flare for comedy made me realize that with the right material, this girl can do no wrong. Back to “The Beginning” though. Bailey is the prototypical “let’s have fun and live life fast and loose,” so obviously she is doomed from the start. But what Diora Baird achieves with the character is nothing short of a good time. Sure her existence in the film is to serve the story and it’s body count, but one of the reasons you tend to root for the gang of teens in these flicks is because you like them.

Though Ms. Baird is easy on the eyes and all that jazz, she’s a character that hasn’t really existed in the franchise to this point. She’s a secondary character that seems fit to out wit the B-Story protagonists. I wanted Bailey to escape the hands of Leatherface’s handlers to join up with Jordana Brewster on the A-Story. I found myself rooting for her in a way that I haven’t rooted for a would-be-victim since before I was old enough to figure out the slasher movie formula. Perhaps this would be a call back to Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III? Could two characters survive in this reboot? As the second act unfolds we find that not to be the case. One of the more fun aspects of TCM: The Beginning is that not only are our hopes dashed that two screen heroines make it our alive, but in fact zero heroines make it out alive. A first for the series. Well played, fun prequel. Well played indeed.

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