Episode 124: Is Heaven Handicap Accessible?

IsHeavenAPC124

Nude celebrity photos rain down from the virtual clouds, Joan Rivers gives up the ghost, and The Trailer Park Boys’ move over to Netflix are among the discussion points in this episode. We also see the return of the extremely popular segment called NFL Football Picks, and reveal the secret of how the pearls of Heaven’s front gate are made.

Episode 124: Is Heaven Handicap Accessible?

 

Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con (Corrected)

Acid Pop Cult Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

Acid Pop Cult Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

Following discussions about the interview Jason Price, of Icon Vs Icon, did last week with Juliette Lewis, discussion turns to New Jersey’s Monster Mania and the 2014 Chicago Comic Con, which both took place recently. Then technical issues take over, and get several minutes of audio axed from the original recording.

Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

 

Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

Acid Pop Cult Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

Acid Pop Cult Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

Following discussions about the interview Jason Price, of Icon Vs Icon, did last week with Juliette Lewis, discussion turns to New Jersey’s Monster Mania and the 2014 Chicago Comic Con, which both took place recently. Then technical issues take over, and get several minutes of audio axed from the original recording.

Episode 123: Monster Wizard Vs. Mania Con

 

Episode 122: Gone Robin Gone

Episode 122 - Gone Robin Gone

So Robin Williams is dead, and that is sad. What’s sadder is the flood of suicide prevention posts on social media that followed. Why is it the only time we care about important issues like these is when it happens to a celebrity? Jeremy brings the issue to the table this week in one of his most inspired rants yet. Lee covers the new Jim Norton show on Vice, featuring his Ed McMahon, trans-gender porn star Bailey Jay. Then Jason gives us all an update on the Bad Karma Body Count Celebrity Death Pool, and makes plans to hit in Monster Mania Convention in New Jersey.

Episode 122: Gone Robin Gone

A Baker’s Dozen of the Best Kids in the Hall Sketches, According to Us

Near god-like status has been bestowed upon the Kids in the Hall in the Acid Pop Cult universe, so we thought it was about time to put together a list of some of our favorite sketches to share with you, the loyal listener/reader. Okay, that might have been the stupidest opening to a blog post ever conceived, but I’m not ashamed of it one bit because I get giddy when I get corny, and that loyalty line is corny as hell.

But what is there to say about the Kids in the Hall that hasn’t been said already by someone much more respected than me, or anyone else at APC? Not much. So we’re not going to lay on the platitudes here.

It was difficult, however, to narrow down a list into something short, rather than being the 50 clip behemoth this could have easily turned into. One way we trimmed the list is by setting aside the monologues for a future post of their own. That helped considerably.

I noticed one thing after whittling the list down to a manageable size,, and that is the frequency of sketches featuring just Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald. There is a sketch featuring all of the Kids on the list, but there are a whopping five sketches focusing on just Dave and Kevin. That was surprising, quite honestly.

1. Daddy Drank

Yeah, growing up in the home of an alcoholic who is filled with more bitter than his whiskey sour. Kevin McDonald has said this sketch is somewhat autobiographical, which explains why he ended up being a comedian if you buy into the whole pain-equals-comedy theory.

2. Running Faggot

Running free, running free, running faggot…

The first time I saw this sketch, my immediate thought was, “What the hell?” Yet, this What the Hell sketch is pure brain-worm material. The song will dig in and stick there for life. It did for me. It’s also a nice commentary on the persecution of homosexuals, which is one of those educational side effects of watching a lot of Kids in the Hall thanks to Scott Thompson’s presence in the troupe.

3. Ham of Truth

A holiday where ham is served cannot pass without this sketch popping into my head. Every Easter since I first saw it, I’ve wanted to tell my grandmother how fucking good the ham is, but I never actually did before she died. She did make some fucking good ham though. I didn’t have the rebellious nature Ed Bob exhibits here. The best I could usually muster was just the compliment of, “Fine ham abounds.”

4. Citizen Kane

At some point, we’ve all tried to describe a movie over lunch to a friend or coworker, but we couldn’t remember the title. No matter what suggestions are made by the other person, we just refuse to admit they are right. it’s a curse among those of us buried so deep in modern pop-culture our knowledge base is supported on a pedestal of arrogance.

5. Clem’s Hair

The kids in Clem’s hometown love nothing more than piling into the barbershop when it’s time for his haircuts because Clem is a gifted storyteller. Whether it’s a story about giant catfish, or one about Three Thumb Jake, the man who witnessed aliens unloading crates of Bigfoots. Others try to match his skill when sitting in the barber chair, but stories about eel monkeys with big bullom heads, whatever the hell a bullom head is, just don’t live up to Clem’s tall tales.

6. Kathi With The Blues Guy (Mississippi Gary)

Mississippi Gary might have inadvertently appeared in more sketches than just about any other Kids in the Hall character, if you consider a photo pinned to the cubicle wall as appearing in a sketch. In the secretaries sketches featuring Kathi with a K and Cathy with a C, Mississippi Gary is always on the Kathi with a K’s cubicle wall, and in this sketch we learn why. Apparently Kathi with a K is a mean mistreatin’, swamp witch, of a bitch.

7. The Dr. Seuss Bible

In a sketch running slightly more than two and half minutes, The Kids in the Hall managed to skewer the entire Christian religion by telling the story of Christ in Dr. Seuss style. It’s one of the most abstract Kids in the Hall sketches, ranking up there with the Sausages sketch, and the fact that it’s about Jesus just makes it that much better. For the record, it’s not the only time the Kids tackled the topic of Jesus.

8. Not Fat

Dave Foley is one of the best at playing the asshole. In Not Fat, he is yet again an over-the-top asshole who emotionally beats down an unsuspecting hitchhiker with insults about his weight. I think deep down we all hate fat people. Even fat people are prone to hating themselves.

9. McGuillicutty and Green

Abbott and Costello made the Who’s on First bit famous, and a thousand wannabe Vaudevillians since then have ripped off the bit. It takes a special person to be able to do it and do it right. Green isn’t one of those guys. One great thing about this clip is we learn a little bit about history, in that James Watt invented the steam engine.

10. Girl Drink Drunk

Dave Foley gets promoted and is introduced to booze by his boss, who insists he at least have a “girl drink” while they are out celebrating the promotion. This sets Foley into a tailspin with fruit wedges, umbrellas, and syrupy drinks at every turn. I still can’t drink something fruity without making a Girl Drink Drunk comment.

11. Nobody Likes Us (Hey, Get Off My Back)

There were a handful of recurring characters on the Kids in the Hall, and two of the most memorable were the dynamic duo of depression, who were always complaining that no one likes them. In this sketch, the guys are denied a loan at the bank, and take it a little too personally.

12. Hockey Game Pick-up (Gay Vampire)

This one is a personal favorite because I’ve experienced something like it in my real life, without the vampire thing of course. What guy hasn’t just been casually hanging out with a guy, having a few beers, then all of the sudden, he turns the TV on, puts on a movie, and BAM, it’s gay porn?

13. Substitute Axe

So what do you do when you’re an axe murderer in the midst of a bloody murder and the head of your axe flies off? You go to the neighbors and see if they have one you can borrow. We also learn from this sketch that no matter what you’re doing in life, you need to have integrity and ethics. If you’re an axe murderer, then don’t be shooting people with a pistol.

Of course, there are dozens of other sketches we wanted to work in, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and for today, that line is drawn at 13. Some time soon, we’ll compile a list of the best monologues.

#ReadAnFnBookFridays: ‘Psycho Proctologists —  Hakuna Matada, Vagina Dentata’ by W.W. Pecker

Hakuna Matata Audioibook Cover

It has taken a while, but I’ve finally gotten around to reading the second installment of the Psycho Proctologists trilogy. I wish I had a good excuse for taking almost two months to get around to it, but I don’t.

It certainly wasn’t because I dreaded reading it. The first book, Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom, was a hell of a tale.

The team is back again in Hakuna Matada, Vagina Dentata, and they’ve once again got to battle demons to save the world from possessed body orifices, specifically, toothy vaginas hellbent on eating anything they can get their teeth on.

This one starts out with the proctological duo of Mikey and Fister babysitting Victoria’s son, the honey-badger-outfit-wearing, foul-mouthed, 13-year-old who serves as the brains of the crew, while she is allegedly out of town at a gynecologist’s convention. The guys weren’t supposed to just stay at home while she was away, and avoid fighting any demons until she got back.

Henry, however, got a lead about some local demon activity online, where his alter-ego, Morpheus, is viewed as the guru of demonology, and the trio couldn’t resist the urge to investigate.

The investigation took them straight to the local strip club, Jerry McTitties’ Gentelmen’s Club, where the activity was allegedly taking place. Mikey who is now equipped with a sixth sense for detecting demons after one spooged in his eye in the first book, could tell the lead was accurate, and there was a demon inside. It became clear this wasn’t a run-of-the-mill demon when he just couldn’t figure out who was serving as the it’s host, despite his special gift.

Then from one of those sleazy back rooms found at every strip club, a scream rang out, and chaos erupted. The demon revealed itself by biting the finger off of a horny patron who made the mistake of sticking it in a stripper’s honey pot before checking it for teeth.

That’s right.

Teeth.

Toothy vaginas are at the heart of this tale, as any astute reader should be able to surmise simply by reading the book’s title. The psycho proctologists pull together and do battle with a horde of chomping vaginas as only they can.

The story has explosions, chases, a fight reminiscent of something straight out of Return of the Jedi, golden showers, witches, Shakespeare quotes, and a handful of interesting strippers to boot. Good stuff.

Here is the YouTube promo video for Psycho Proctologists — Hakuna Matada, Vagina Dentata, where the author, W.W. Pecker reads an excerpt from the first chapter of the book.

The second book isn’t quite as long as the first one, and even it was fairly short in its own right. This doesn’t have a negative affect on the story though. If anything, the shortness of the books makes for a pleasantly quick read. I knocked this one out in less than two hours. I had trouble putting it down, which also makes it’s short length that much more appealing.

The Psycho Proctologists series is yet another one of those gems you can find on Amazon that didn’t go through the old-school process of publication. Yeah, there are a lot more shitty self/independently published books and ebooks on Amazon than there are good self/independently published books and ebooks on Amazon, but when you find a good one, it’s usually something so different than what you’ll pick up on the paperback shelf at Wal-Mart, and that is refreshing. That’s why I’m willing to take the gamble and pick up titles that look interesting like these did when I stumbled upon them. You don’t have to take a gamble though, as all three of the Psycho Proctologists books are Read A Fuckin’ Book Fridays Approved, and there isn’t a higher level of praise available in the publishing business.

You can pick up a paperback copy of Psycho Proctologists — Hakuna Matada, Vagina Dentata on Amazon for $5.99. A few weeks ago, there was a Kindle version available, which is what I bought, but that option appears to have vanished. If you, like me, are determined to get digital copies because your eyes suck and you need to be able to blow up the text to an embarrassingly large font size, don’t fret, you can buy all three books in one Kindle edition with A Psycho Proctologists Threesome for $3.99 (Cheap!).

I’ve already cheated and read ahead through the third book, Psycho Proctologists and the Urethrae of Annihilation, and we’ll have a short ReadAnFnBook post about it in the not-so-distant future. The plan is to tackle the John Waters book Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America for a future post too. I presume Psycho Proctologists author W.W. Pecker is of no relation to John Waters’ Pecker. I’m hoping he’s not connected to John Waters’ Pecker anyway. I would hate to find out these books were written by Edward Furlong. That kind of revelation could crash my entire perception of reality.

There is simply a lot of good shit out there to read right now. It’s a good time to be a book nerd. So why don’t you turn off the TV, the XBox, the iPhone, and other crap over the next few weeks, and take the time to read a fuckin’ book or something.

If you’re determined to browse the Internet instead, you can find more about the Psycho Proctologists on Facebook and the Psycho Proctologists Blog.

(Apologies if this post is sloppy as hell, I haven’t slept in days, and coffee is only capable of clearing out a small percentage of the sleepless fog consuming my brain right now.)

Here is the back cover of the book, if you want to see how a professional describes the plot of Psycho Proctologists –– Hakuna Matada, Vagina Dentata:

71b0GN94ORL

Dear Horror Movies, This Relationship is Over


Dear Horror Movies:

When I was introduced to you many years ago it was love at first sight. You immediately made my emotions scream like they never had before. For those first few years, you were there for me during every moment of my life, even if it was just as a faint whisper in my mind. You were in my head and I couldn’t get you out, and I didn’t want to. Those were great years, but I have to admit, I haven’t felt that way in a long time. That is why I’m writing you this letter.

It’s time we go our separate ways.

It’s not you.

It’s me.

Don’t get me wrong, the years we spent together were fun, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, but I can’t go on living this lie. It’s not fair to you.

I will never forget the many nights we spent together, just me and you, playing mind games with each other until the sun came up. it was during these nights that you introduced me to humanity, and showed me the cruelty it was capable of inflicting from the safety of my recliner.

You screamed for me.

You bled for me.

You came back from the dead for me.

Most importantly though, you opened my eyes to the horrors of life itself, and taught me that survival is often a difficult struggle. I thank you for those lessons.

You gave me everything you had in you, but it just isn’t enough any more.

Every time we get together it’s the same old thing. I know when you’re going to sneak up behind me and make a loud noise; when you are going to get violent and ugly; and who is going to make things right at the end of the night.I now see through the illusions and psychological games you have hidden behind all these years.

We’ve been in this rut for more than a decade, but I’ve been struggling to come to grips with it. I’ve continued telling myself that I still love you as much as I did when we first met, even though my heart has been telling me otherwise.

I hate to tell you this in a letter rather than face to face, but for the past few years, I’ve been spending more and more of my nights with the likes of comedy and action. While you sometimes brought those elements into our nights together, you’re halfhearted attempts have almost always failed to truly satisfy me. It’s true we’ve had some good nights, like the ones we spent with Herschell Gordon Lewis and Sam Raimi, but let’s be realistic here, being funny isn’t your greatest strength.

wizard-of-gore-1970-herschell-gordon-lewis

I honestly don’t remember the last time I’ve yearned for the type of affection you are capable of giving. My tastes have just grown more complex than what you can offer. At this point in my life I’ve simply lived through enough real-life horror, that getting a break from you is a relief from my real-world stress. You aren’t capable of doing that for me anymore.

I thank you for your companionship all these years, and I will never forget you. There might even be times when we might get together for dinner every now and then, but don’t expect those times to come on a regular basis.

It’s time for both of us to move on. You go your way, and I’ll go mine.

May your journey be darker and bloodier than ever, and may those attributes bring you more lovers than ever. While I might be going forward on a much quieter, calmer path with more smiles than gasps, I will forever be hoping you find continued success.

Best wishes to you and yours,

Lee

#ReadAnFnBookFridays Returns: ‘I Never Met A Story I Didn’t Like’ by Todd Snider

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not dead, and neither is this feature. I just fell into one of those my-brain-is-pure-mush-right-now funks, and I had a real hard time breaking free from that groove. But what better way to make a return than with a book by Singer/Songwriter Todd Snider, a man who I unsuccessfully try to not mention so often on the Acid Pop Cult Podcast.

So without further delay… #ReadAnFnBookFridays

I-Never-Met-A-Story

Snider’s book I Never Met a Story I Didn’t Like: Mostly True Tall Tales, is his attempt to put into writing the stories he’s known for telling in between songs at his live shows. Many of the stories inspired songs, and that is dutifully noted in the book, complete with the inclusion of the lyrics of said song.

Sounds boring, right?

If it does, then you’ve probably never heard of Todd Snider and have no idea as to the kind of stories the man might tell.

Todd Snider has been traveling the country for more than 20 years, making songs up, and singing them for whoever will listen to them. Some of them are long, some of them are short, some of them are funny, some of them are sad, and he’s been known to talk for as many as 18 minutes in between those songs.

That is my horrific attempt at paraphrasing a disclaimer he frequently delivers at the top of every show. Generally, his songs are about societal misfits. People who live on the fringe. As his book reveals, he’s quite at home in the company of these weirdos.

In the book, he tells stories of meeting his idols, like Jerry Jeff Walker, Kris Kristofferson, John Prine and more. He also discloses a few things he learned from each of those people.

More interestingly though, he tells the story of the time he spent the morning with Slash of Guns n Roses in a hotel bar, the time Tony Bennett picked his pocket at an East Nashville car wash, and the time Bill Elliott came to one of his shows and proved to be a pure dick.

There’s also the tale of the time Jimmy Buffett angrily hurled fruit at him backstage at a concert. Buffett was a key player in getting Snider’s career started. His first few albums were released on Buffett’s record label.

One theme that appears in many of the stories is Snider’s favorite pastime of consuming illegal substances. There are good times and bad times associated with the drug stories in the book. He did meet his wife during a rehab stint, and he also happened to be in the same rehab facility Phil Hartman’s wife was in just days before she would shoot her husband. He has also nearly died a few times pursuing his pastime, and he covers all of it in the book.

Above all else, the book is a quick, entertaining read that doesn’t require an intimate knowledge of Snider’s music and career. He’s able to tell colorful stories in print in much the same way he’s known for doing it in his songs.

It’s worth checking out, so pick it up at Amazon, or some other place that still sells books, and give it a read then let me know what you think of it.

We should be back on schedule next week with another new one, but until then, why don’t you read a fucking book on your own or something.

Full disclosure, I’ve been a hardcore Snider fan since the mid-1990s, so my views might be a bit biased. Take it for what it’s worth.

Here’s a crappy video of him doing the intro I half-attempted earlier in this piece. Crappy video, but what do you expect when you troll around on YouTube for stuff?

 

Let’s Not Forget Casey Kasem’s ‘Porn’ Past

Casey Kasem in Glory Stompers.

Casey Kasem in Glory Stompers.

We lost Casey Kasem about a week ago, and his passing was immediately followed by countless odes to the radio legend for his Top 40 radio show and his voice-over work in the animation world. What we haven’t seen a lot of is praise for Kasem’s appearances in several biker movies in the late 1960s, and his role in the classic film, The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant. As far as the mainstream is concerned, these might as well have been porn movies, given their omission from they typical Kasem tribute.

In the 1960s while he was still becoming “Casey Kasem,” he sought out parts in low-budget movies, most of which were biker flicks. If you’ve ever seen a biker flick from this era, it’s easy to tell why these films don’t get a lot of play in his bio after he became a household name. Most biker movies were about drugs, sex, and violence, and that’s about it.

The Glory Stompers (1967)

Kasem is Mouth, a biker caught up in a rivalry with another biker gang. Dennis Hopper is the star of this one, which came out two years before he shook the foundations of Hollywood with Easy Rider. Mouth is a member of the Black Souls, the bad guys in the film. Kasem also picked up an Associate Producer credit for The Glory Stompers.

Synopsis via TCM.com

In an isolated wood, Chino and his rebel motorcycle gang, The Black Souls, capture Darryl, leader of a rival gang called The Glory Stompers, and Darryl’s girl friend, Chris. One of the Black Souls, Magoo, attempts to rape Chris, and Chino beats up Darryl. Subsequently, the whole gang jumps Darryl, leaves him for dead, and heads for a border town to sell Chris to Mexican white slavers. In the meantime, Chino’s advances toward Chris infuriate Jo Ann, his “momma.” A disillusioned former Glory Stomper named Smiley, now traveling alone, happens upon the merely wounded Darryl, and together they set out to rescue Chris. En route they hear about a scheduled love-in, but upon arriving at the scene they learn that Chino and his gang have already left for the border. And so Darryl and Smiley head for the Black Souls hideout, where Chris is being guarded by Chino’s admiring younger brother, Paul. Magoo, returning from the love-in alone, again tries to rape Chris. But soon Darryl, Smiley, and Chino also arrive, and a furious battle ensues. Paul is motorcycled to death by Magoo, who in turn is shot down, and Jo Ann accidentally kills Chino with a knife intended for Darryl. The bloody conflict over, Chris and Darryl are now free to go on to a better life.

You can watch the entire film on YouTube if you’re into that kind of thing.

Wild Wheels (1969)

Kasem is again a badass biker guy in this one. This time he goes by the name “Knife.” Yeah, Knife. This one isn’t among the cream of the crop of biker pictures.

Synopsis via TCM.com

The “Roadrunners,” an outlaw motorcycle gang, invade Pismo Beach and clash with a local group of peace-loving dune buggy enthusiasts led by Reb Smith. King, the gang leader, makes an unsuccessful pass at Ann, Reb’s girl friend, then returns to camp, joining the other bikers in a marijuana party. Boomer and Gunner, two cyclists, steal liquor from a local store, and the party becomes an orgy. Local youths Sissy and Huey, watching nearby, become separated in the dark dunes, and violence erupts when the buggy club learns that Sissy has been raped by Boomer. Taking the offensive, the buggy club attacks and overcomes the cyclists, who are later apprehended by the police. King and fellow biker Cotton decide to join the buggy club.

The Cycle Savages (1969)

Kasem has a small role in this one, as he did with most of his film appearances, as the brother of Keeg, the psychotic leader of a motorcycle gang. Keeg was played by Bruce Dern. This wouldn’t be the last time Casem appears in a Bruce Dern movie. Kasem picks up an Executive Producer credit for this orgy, rape, and violence drug-fest. Also, the fact Keeg’s big beef is with an artist who makes a habit of drawing members of the gang, elevate this one to a must-watch level of stupid, but it’s fun nonetheless.

Synopsis via TCM.com

Keeg, the leader of a Los Angeles motorcycle gang, attacks Romko, an artist who is sketching the gang, and takes away his drawings. When Romko again attempts to sketch the gang, he is beaten up and his hands are slashed. Keeg warns the members of the gang that the sketches can be incriminating because of the gang’s white slavery operations in Las Vegas. Lea, a follower of the gang, invites Romko into her apartment and summons Docky to attend to Romko’s injured hands. Working with the gang to detain Romko long enough for Keeg to ransack his apartment of all the remaining sketches, Lea offers to pose in the nude for Romko. He visits her the next day, and they make love. Meanwhile, the motorcycle gang has kidnaped Janie from the local high school with the intention of making her a prostitute. The entire gang rapes her, and Keeg gives her a large dose of LSD. Keeg then forces another girl, Sandy, to have sex with one of the members of the gang. The police arrive at Lea’s apartment to investigate the attack that had been made on Romko. Romko refuses to cooperate with the police, and he and Lea are arrested but are released from jail the next day. Members of the gang capture Romko, take him to a cellar, and torture him by squeezing his hands in a vise. Lea arrives with a gun, but she lacks the courage to shoot, and Sandy grabs the gun from her hand and shoots Keeg. The police then arrive and arrest the members of the gang for raping Janie.

You can watch the entire movie on YouTube if you’re into that kind of thing.

Scream Free! aka Free Grass (1969)

Again Casey Kasem shows up in a gang-themed movie, only this one doesn’t focus so heavily on rape as the previous ones, but the plot does revolve almost entirely around a marijuana smuggling operation where weed is brought up from Mexico. Some things never change, I guess. Ultimately, this one is a psychedelic classic.

Synopsis via TCM.com

Hippies Dean and Karen fall in love; and Dean, needing money to take Karen away, agrees to help Link and his hoods smuggle marijuana across the Mexican border. Dean abandons them when they kill two narcotics agents, and he returns to Link’s place to pick up Karen. There Link puts LSD in Dean’s drink to make him hallucinate. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang abduct Karen in hopes of trapping Dean so that they can kill him. Dean is lured to the beach to be set afire; instead, he causes Link to go up in flames. The hoods, surrounded by police at Link’s place, are killed in an exchange of gunfire. Dean rescues Karen and departs with her on his motorcycle after alerting the hippie community of the “free grass” in the hoods’ car.

You can watch the entire movie on YouTube if you’re into that kind of thing.

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971)

Okay, so this one isn’t a biker movie where Kasem tries to be public enemy number one, but it is another movie featuring Bruce Dern alongside the radio legend. Bruce Dern is a mad scientist who successfully discovers how to transplant a head from one body to another. He transplants the head of a murderer onto the body of a dumb-but-strong guy, and together the two-headed creature is darn-near unstoppable. Kasem doesn’t appear a lot in this film. He’s just a friend of Dern’s who drops in from time to time.

Synopsis via TCM.com

A scientist has been experimenting with head transplantation. So when a psycho-killer invades his home and is shot, he grafts his head onto the body of his caretaker’s son, a man with a child’s mentality. Then the two-headed creation escapes.

#ReadAnFnBookFridays: Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom, by W.W. Pecker

FlamingButtholesofDoom

Just as a good headline will get clicks on a blog post, whether it’s any good or not, the Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom lured me in for a closer look when I was browsing on Amazon. Fortunately, this was one of those times where the product lived up to expectations the title inspired.

When I saw the title, I had no choice but to click on it.

Then I read the book description, and buying it was a no brainer for me.

Forget Fifty Shades of Gray, this book is fifty shades blacker than your a**hole . . .

Michael McLaren is Hollywood’s proctologist to the stars. In Tinseltown, there’s no shortage of famous people who need things discreetly removed from their sphincters—or who want things shoved up there. Either way, business is good.

But when he discovers that demons dwell in the darkest crevices of existence, he’s unwittingly initiated into a secret society of demon hunters:

The Psycho Proctologists.

The world may think they’re crazy, but they’re all that’s standing between you and the Armageddon.

Because when flaming buttholes threaten to doom humanity as we know it, who ya gonna call?

A butt doctor.

Here’s an audio trailer cut from the audio book. It’s the awesome first chapter featuring Kirk Cameron getting his ass probed, and loving every minute of it.

It’s another short read, as are most of the #ReadAnFnBookFridays books have been lately, but that only adds to its charm. It doesn’t go on and on about a bunch of shit nobody cares about. It sticks to the task at hand, and that task is two proctologists, a gynecologist, and a 13 year old, have to fight off demons who often use orifices as their command center.

It’s kind of like Ghostbusters meets the Exorcist, or something along those lines.

While I’ve found all of the #ReadAnFnBookFridays titles to be good stories, not all of them have been exceptionally well written. That’s not to say any of them have been poorly done. As anybody who reads books can corroborate, there are authors who are readable, and then there are authors who are good. I’m of the opinion, and as we all know, opinions themselves are like assholes, W.W. Pecker is pretty good at it. Admittedly, I’m neither a published author, nor am I a respected critic of literature, so my opinion doesn’t really mean dick. I did spend my college years pursuing an English degree with a concentration on writing, although my horrifically constructed posts on this website prove I wasn’t very good at it.

W.W. Pecker is the top-secret pen name of an award-winning author.
No, really. It wasn’t the Nobel Prize, or even the Pullitzer, but it was an award for writing, dammit. And no, it wasn’t his third grade teacher’s class prize, either. Geez. Cynical, much?When he’s not writing, he can usually be found watching porn on the internet.

At the end of Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom, the author hints there could be more Psycho Proctologist books if there is enough interest, and apparently there was. Buttholes of Doom is book one of three to be published so far, four if you count the book that has all three stories in it, and it’s the kind of premise that could go on for as many new volumes Pecker finds the passion to write.

You can get Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom on Amazon for Kindle for just $1.69, or paperback for $5.39.

You’ll see the other volumes here at some point in the future. They are queued up to be read after I finish Todd Snider’s book, I Never Met a Story i Didn’t Like, which will probably be next week’s title.

Until next week though, keep those orifices locked up tight, and try to forget about the demons that might lurk in there by reading a fucking book or something.

The other Psycho Proctologist books:

Hakuna Matata Audioibook Cover

Psycho Proctologists – Hakuna Matada: Vagina Dentata (Volume 2)

UrethraeofAnnihilation_

Psycho Proctologists and the Urethrae of Annihilation (Volume 3)

or you can get them all in one book:

Threesome_

A Psycho Proctologists Threesome (Psycho Proctologists Omnibus)