Checklist for Eating Day Old Chinese Food


I was looking for a bite to eat for lunch here at the house, determined to not put myself in a position where I have to get dressed and go to the store.

I dug around the pantry and there was very little there.

I foraged through every cabinet in the kitchen, and nearly went with the box of Cheez Its, but decided to find real food instead.

I shoveled my way to the back of the fridge, pastt he bologna, past the apples, and found last night’s chinese food. it’s some kind of shrimp and rice, so I pass on that too.

I checked the freezer for something I could just heat and eat, but nothing was there.

It might be time to get over this agoraphobia thing and go to the store.

Then my mind went back to the chinese food.

It was the wife’s lunch from the day before that she did not eat. It’s been chilling for 24 hours .


Dare I?

It seems to be the best option.

I gave it some thought.

Then I went through the checklist for eating leftover Chinese food, just to be safe.

1. Visual Inspection: Is it leaking from the bottom? Is it a foil package? Is the lid hooved up like it’s about to explode? Is it an odd color?

Check. It looks Ok.

2. Olfactory Inspection: Does it smell alright? If it smells like wet dog, it probably is.

Check. It smells Ok.

3. Phone Battery Check: Gotta be able to call someone in case of an emergency case of explosive food poisoning.

Check. Should be good for a few hours on the phone charge.

4. Toilet Paper Check: Just in case any of the other inspections fail to reveal a problem, plenty of toilet paper is needed to manage the fallout.

Check. I’ve got a mega pack of that ultra stuff, that can be used as socks in an emergency.

5. Deity Check: Check in with the deity of your choice just to be safe.

Check. No deity applicable in my case. No worries.

6. Write Blog Post: Write a blog post to let everyone know your intentions, so there is some awareness of your activities today just in case no one sees or hears from you in a week. Somebody might think to send help before the body gets too rancid and the house becomes unsellable.

Check. You’re reading it. Please make note of it. Thanks.

It’s in the oven now, reheating in its foil bowl.

My nerves are on high alert, but I think I’ll be ok.