#ReadAnFnBookFridays: Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You by Bradley Sands


Rico Slade don’t take no shit from nobody.

Rico Slade won’t let anybody stand in the way of what he wants.

Rico Slade might be a lunatic.

Rico Slade might also be the result of an actor in the midst of a mental breakdown.

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a novella, or extra-long short story if you will, by Bradley Sands. This is the same Bradley Sands whose book TV Snorted My Brain was the subject of one of the first #ReadAnFnBookFridays posts way back in 2013. Rico Slade, like TV Snorted My Brain was a real hoot (Can you tell I watched the FX debut of Fargo recently?), and this book is no different.

Rico Slade rips out throats, chops people up with swords, and has no qualms about fighting off a swarm of cops when the situation calls for it. He is a man on a mission, and that mission is to thwart the evil plans of Baron Mayhem by any means necessary, and he will stop at nothing to accomplish that mission.

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is full of neato violence, and moves along like a cockroach running from a sudden blast of incandescent hell. The book is reminiscent of those classic action flicks guys like Arnold, Chuck Norris, and Jean Claude Van Damme churned out during the 1980s, in that it doesn’t mess around with a lot of side plots, sub-plots, and deep philosophical pontificating.

Those similarities are not an accident.

Rico Slade is a movie action hero himself.

Rico Slade leads the readers on a journey, which leaves them wondering which parts of Rico’s life are real and which parts are just an self-created illusion. It does the same thing a good action movie does in that regard. “That gunshot wound looks so real. I can’t be real, though, can it?”

Like TV Snorted My Brain, Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a good time. it is short, like I said, only 122 pages, according to it’s Amazon listing, but that doesn’t inhibit the story at all. You can read it in about the amount of time it would take to watch one or two of Rico’s blockbuster action films.

You can pick it up on Amazon, where it’s $7.95 for the paperback, or $4.99 for the Kindle edition. Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is published by Eraserhead Press.

I know you’ve seen plenty of classic action movies, so why don’t you take a break from the tv and the neighborhood movie theater this weekend, and do something different for a change, you know, like reading a fucking book or something.

#ReadAnFnBookFridays: ‘Apeshit’ by Carlton Mellick III

Title: Apeshit

Author: Carlton Mellick III

Publisher: Eraserhead Press

At its core, Apeshit is the typical teenagers-head-into-the-woods-for-debauchery-then-it-all-goes-to-hell horor story. What sets it apart from the run-of-the-mill horror schlock are the imaginative touches bizarro author Carlton Mellick III uses to color in that framework.

In his introduction to the story, Mellick says Apeshit is not like any other book he’s written, and he was even hesitant to publish it. He was right about it not being like other books he’s written, and he was also right to go against the voices in his head telling him to bury it. 

It was his intention to write a story akin to classic cult horror films. It seems it was also his intention to turn the knob on that genre all the way up to 11. 

Carlton Mellick III (Photo from BizarroCentral.com)

Carlton Mellick III (Photo from BizarroCentral.com)

The crew of kids aren’t the typical preppie teens featured in the movies that inspired Apeshit, even though they are three football players and three cheerleaders. For example, two of the guys and one of the girls are in a three-way relationship, where everybody pleases everybody if you know what I mean, and I think you do. There’s also a hyper-depressive, and a macho kind of character. One of the cheerleaders also sports a mohawk and enough tattoos to earn her a job at the state fair. 

Things get weird right from the start. On the way to their cabin in the woods, they encounter several disfigured animals, including a man so mangled he shouldn’t be alive. 

Once there, they crew not only have to deal with each other, they discover beasts in the woods who watch them and stalk them. 

Then there is the issue of things simply not dying, no matter what happens to them, even the main characters.

Also like the films that inspired the story, it’s filled with sex, intoxication, and the pursuit of self gratification among the main characters. 

Shit escalates from there. 

Like Mellick said in his introduction, it’s not quite like his other books. It’s a little more mainstream in its content when compared to something like Razor Wire Pubic Hair, or The Morbidly Obese Ninja, but it does remain twisted enough to stand out from the typical books of this style. 

It’s worth a read. You can get the Kindle edition at Amazon for $7.95 (for now at least), or the paperback for $10.95. 

Mellick has a ton of books out there, and I’ve yet to find one I’ve absolutely hated, so I recommend checking out his entire body of work. 

In the meantime, though, why don’t you just read a fucking book or something.