Office Space – No Respect for Laughter #SnubsByAPC

OS SNUBSBYAPC

  • The Show: 72nd Academy Awards (click the link for a full list of winners)
  • The Host: Billy Crystal
  • The Snub: Office Space (1999) with ZERO nominations!

OFFICE SPACE

The Scoop: American Beauty took 5 Oscars home this year which included beating out The Green Mile and The Sixth Sense for Best Picture. I’m not saying that Office Space is a better film. Hell, any film that features a nude Thora Birch (sure she was underage, but I was the same age…right?) is in good favor with me, but American Beauty also featured a floating bag and a masturbating Kevin Spacey. Kinda equals things out. Surely had American Beauty not won, The Green Mile would have, but it’s fun to bitch about things on the internet, so lets begin.

OFFICE SPACE 2

Comedy gets very little respect among the old stiffs that make up the Academy members. This will never change, because apparently as you get older in Hollywood you forget how to laugh. Office Space is a film that Hollywood hates, but secretly loves, passing bootlegs among co-worker to co-worker around the water cooler as the weekend box office grosses tank. Granted Office Space is a “cult” classic, but that only makes it that much more of a snub in this writer’s ever so humble opinion.

OFFICE SPACE 3

Best Original Screenplay? Mike Judge is a lot of things, one of which is a great fucking writer. How about a Best Supporting Actor Nomination for Gary Cole, Stephen Root, David Herman, or Diedrich Bader? Best Actress Hilary Swank deserved all the hype for her role in Boys Don’t Cry. And there probably isn’t any way Angelina Jolie doesn’t walk away with the Best Supporting Actress for Girl, Interrupted. How about just a nomination in either category for the fun performance given by Jennifer Aniston.

JEN ANISTON

Here at APC we’ve learned not to expect much in the winners category, but some recognition would be nice.

Actresses with Huge Gaping Maws Not So Big in Japan

There is a burger chain in Japan making international news this week because they came up with the bright idea to create a burger wrapper that doubles as a face mask so Japanese women will feel more comfortable shoving their monster burgers into their demure faces. 

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Why?

Well, apparently in Japanese culture small mouths are considered more attractive, which is one of the reasons Japanese women famously cover their mouths when they open them. Here I’ve been thinking all of these years the Japanese just had bad dental care. I guess I’m a big dummy.

When I read this the first thing that popped into my head was:

JuliaRoberts

Julia Roberts has never entered a Bobbing for Apples contest she hasn’t won.

Then I started thinking about other actresses with huge mouths who probably aren’t that popular in Japan because of the whole Ochobo thing.

So here are five other actresses whose mouths might make a great 18th hole on a putt-putt golf course:

5. Anne Hathaway: Every time Catwoman yawns, a bat finds a new home.

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4. Hilary Swank: She is an Oscar winner for Best Gaping Maw in a Transgender Role after all.

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3. Kyra Sedgwick: She might be 4-foot-9 and weigh 90 pounds, but she can easily fit 30 pounds of Bacon in her mouth.

 Kyra Sedgwick

2. Rosario Dawson: Sometimes it is okay to go ass to mouth, and in her case, the size of the ass is of no consequence. She can handle it.

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1. Cameron Diaz: She may have been a bad teacher, but she can eat an apple with one bite. That makes her teacher of the year in the US, but a scarecrow in Japan.

 CameronDiaz