Actresses with Huge Gaping Maws Not So Big in Japan

There is a burger chain in Japan making international news this week because they came up with the bright idea to create a burger wrapper that doubles as a face mask so Japanese women will feel more comfortable shoving their monster burgers into their demure faces. 

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Why?

Well, apparently in Japanese culture small mouths are considered more attractive, which is one of the reasons Japanese women famously cover their mouths when they open them. Here I’ve been thinking all of these years the Japanese just had bad dental care. I guess I’m a big dummy.

When I read this the first thing that popped into my head was:

JuliaRoberts

Julia Roberts has never entered a Bobbing for Apples contest she hasn’t won.

Then I started thinking about other actresses with huge mouths who probably aren’t that popular in Japan because of the whole Ochobo thing.

So here are five other actresses whose mouths might make a great 18th hole on a putt-putt golf course:

5. Anne Hathaway: Every time Catwoman yawns, a bat finds a new home.

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4. Hilary Swank: She is an Oscar winner for Best Gaping Maw in a Transgender Role after all.

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3. Kyra Sedgwick: She might be 4-foot-9 and weigh 90 pounds, but she can easily fit 30 pounds of Bacon in her mouth.

 Kyra Sedgwick

2. Rosario Dawson: Sometimes it is okay to go ass to mouth, and in her case, the size of the ass is of no consequence. She can handle it.

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1. Cameron Diaz: She may have been a bad teacher, but she can eat an apple with one bite. That makes her teacher of the year in the US, but a scarecrow in Japan.

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Episode 59: He Did It All For The Funny

Episode 59: He Did It All For The Funny

Acid Pop Cult, now 68.267% more interactive! The gang answer emails and tweets from the world of four listeners. Chris and Jeremy talk about their fun at C2E2, including Jeremy’s dreadful time during the Maniac remake, Chris hating on nerds, more Aquaman hate, some hard Kevin Smith dick sucking, and a beer line. Lee educates the boys on some literature and “The Confederacy of Dunces.” Jeremy says “in concession” instead of “in succession” twice in one episode, which drove him nuts during the edit. Words were not his friend on episode 59. If you’re not a fan of Kevin Smith, Jeremy is sorry in advance. If you are a fan of Kevin Smith, you’re welcome in advance. For some stupid reason I can’t upload our episode card… it’s really funny and I’m now suicidal because of this tragic blunder.

*Editor’s note: We don’t really think Lee is a racist. We’re sorry in advance.

Episode 59: He Did It All For The Funny