Forcefully Uttering Curses Kills Abhorrent Societal Screw-ups aka Answering the Question: Hey, Why Do You Cuss So Much?


I’ve noticed I cuss a lot. More than most, anyway.

Things like, “Fucking cocksucking motherfucking asshole,” hiss naturally from my mouth when I do things like drive, shop, or generally go anywhere there’s a crowd.

The graphic phraseology seeps from my mouth like air escaping an over-inflated inner tube trying desperately to not explode.  It also has the same explosion-deterring effect on my rage, which I carry on my back like a rabid monkey everywhere I go.

If I didn’t cuss like a sailor who smashed his finger with a hammer while doing poop deck repairs he didn’t even want to do to begin with, but had to because the admiral insisted, I’d probably be in prison doing a triple life sentence with a new one getting tacked on every six months.

It just makes me feel better.


I’ve tried battling it with meds, with self-punitive measures, and even by using a swear jar, but profanity blends well with the meds making it great at calming my disposition, I don’t have the self-discipline to follow through with self-imposed punishments, and I found myself without money for food and bills when the swear jar was in effect.

Swearing is positively correlated with extraversion and Type A hostility but negatively correlated with agreeableness, conscientiousness, religiosity, and sexual anxiety. The uniquely human facility for swearing evolved and persists because taboo words can communicate emotion information (anger, frustration) more readily than nontaboo words, allowing speakers to achieve a variety of personal and social goals with them (utility).

The Utility and Ubiquity of Taboo Words (Just in case you can’t get enough reading about profanity)
by Timothy Jay

That’s why I’ve embraced it. I now freely admit that I love using the words of the gutter people and the elite. It turns out I’m just doing what people have always done throughout history, albeit in varying degrees depending upon social hierarchy.


There’s a neat book out there called Holy Shit: The History of Swearing by Melissa Mohr. In it, she traces the use of foul language throughout history.

For example, the Romans were quite keen on using swear words. Evidence of this remains to this day on the walls of the brothels on the island of Pompeii, which was destroyed when a volcano blew the fuck up and rained hell fire upon them.  Phrases equivalent to Sally No Neck Licks Cunt, I’ve got a big dick, and I fucked here, are still scrawled into the walls there.

The interesting thing about swearing, as it is outlined in the book, the social mores of the day often determined which words were considered swear words. So during different periods in history, it was a different set of words that were deemed inappropriate in polite conversation.

After the Romans reign, Christianity swept through Europe, profanity was more often religious in context. Later, it was body parts and body functions that became the hot-button words. That’s how we got words like micturate, expectorate, and perspiration.


A few decades ago, conversations held in various social settings were recorded and analyzed for word usage. Of the top 50 words used in each scenario, four of them were curse words. Which four? Four of the good ones, shit, hell, fuck and damn.


So my love affair with words like Fuck, cocksucker, and shitbag, is not that abnormal after all. I’ve got history on my side. And much like Randal and his determination to bring the phrase Porch Monkey back into the lexicon in Clerks II, I’m determined to lead our entire society down the path of loathsome language into a crevasse of creative and profane word play.

In that respect, it is my duty to say things rudely.

If you don’t like it, well, you can simply get off my nuts and straight fuck off.

Episode 33: The Sh*t Show

The Sh*t Show! We talk sh*t, lots of sh*t. We talk sh*t on everything from fantasy football to Nazi flicks to dead grandmas. Roxy’s Rack Review brings us Escape From Blood Plantation, Lee’s Redneck Report drops science on social sh*theads that show no consideration at gas stations. Jeremy’s Rants & Rambles starts on Fantasy Footballers and the women and children that ruin it, before trailing off on Batman the Animated Series. New segment that you can vote on called “F*cktard of the Week” and Jeremy makes a public apology to his mentor, Parker Bowman.

Episode 33: The Sh*t Show